The Redditor shared that her mother-in-law claimed the notion was significant in other cultures.
When it comes to one's in-laws, they may even be a little overzealous in their care and concern over their future grandchild. In a Reddit post that has attracted viewpoints from all over, a mother-to-be wrote that her husband's mother wanted to help breastfeed her children due to its significance in some cultures. The mother-in-law (MIL) was excited to learn more about this but the Redditor wasn't all too keen and pleaded for help breaking the news to the soon-to-be grandma.
Personally, I would not like it. As someone that worked so hard to be able to nurse my child, it would make me feel like a failure to have grandma nursing my child. But to each their own tho. As long as baby is fed and healthy.— Lacy Renee (@lacyyyreneew) October 4, 2019
The Redditor went on to explain in the post that her MIL meant well but was just a bit wacky with her ideas. She said that she was due this November and her MIL doing all this research was starting to push her a little over the edge. "She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it’s a great idea," explained the woman about her MIL's new breastfeeding discovery. "I have told her gross no, my mom got involved and said no, but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits."
Exactly what I was thinking. If mom can’t produce enough? Or there’s an actual reason MIL volunteers to nurse baby I really don’t see the issue. However..if mil was just like “hey I’m going to nurse the baby too. Bonding time!” ...that’s a bit much.— AnnaMarie.💋 (@RoyalAnnaMariee) October 4, 2019
Furthermore, the Redditor added that because the soon-to-be grandma was in her 60s, it wasn't the best time to start breastfeeding an infant. There are various factors to consider here and the health and wellness of the mother-in-law will as well her ability to induce lactation upon meeting her grandchild would be relevant. Regardless, the expectant mom didn't want anything to do with it but didn't know how to tell her husband's mother. "I don’t know what to do," she continued. "I’m beyond done with this woman, but out of respect for my husband I am trying to keep a level head, but I’m starting to fail with my due date fast approaching ... "
Technically, a woman can start to lactate even without having had a baby recently. But, it takes lots of work. And, I’m not sure that it’s possible for a post-menopausal woman. This grandma sounds just a little crazy & momma should not leave the baby alone with her— terry (@MommaTeaSea) October 5, 2019
Users quickly sprang onto the post and gave their own opinions on the situation. Several seemed to suggest that it was up to her husband to inform his mother that this wasn't such a good idea. "Your husband should be the one shutting her down!" one commenter advised. "'Out of respect' for your husband? I’m sorry, but where the [expletive] is HIS respect for YOU? He needs to tell his mom to stop. Now." "Your husband needs to pull his head out of his [expletive] and realize and explicitly tell his mom that she will never be allowed alone with this baby," a second person added. "Have you asked him how he feels about his mum breastfeeding (!!) his child?" another person asked, "Surely he must have a limit with this woman."
The baby’s mother does NOT want it, she CAN produce. The husband won’t stand up to his mom. And one commenter said it’s very Hand that rocks the cradle WEIRD. 🎯I would not be leaving that baby alone with the grandmother.— Amber Barnett (@AB_Mommyof2) October 4, 2019
Some commentators questioned the mother's age and the validity of these cultural trends. "I didn’t think a 60-year-old woman could produce milk," the person wrote. "Is it powdered? All jokes aside, this is a hill to die on. I’ve heard of MILs using grandchildren as do over babies but this is ridiculous." "That is totally a thing in other cultures, but I’m guessing not yours," someone else commented. "Furthermore from a medical standpoint once the milk supply dries up, and I would guess hers has, it’s extremely difficult to get it going again. This is creepy, weird, and has hand that rocks the cradle written all over it."
First, could the Mom not breastfeed and desperately wanted to? This DOES happen in other cultures. People used to turn their children over to "nursemaids" or women who were not even related to them. Next, if Mom feels strongly, SHE should say something, not Dad.— Annodxe (@salsbudxe) October 5, 2019
Nooooooo it happens in other cultures b/c lack of food— Susbdancercan (@susbdancer) October 5, 2019
The Redditor returned to her post to add an update after reading all the responses. "I feel it’s his responsibility to confront her and set the boundaries, he differs," she continued. "I’m hoping after showing him the hundreds of responses he can see that I’m not the crazy one thinking he needs to talk to her early and often about what we want and don’t want for our child with her. "He is very supportive but hates upsetting his mom, which I get, but it can’t be at my expense which is how it feels right now," she added. "He is tired of talking about it, this started around Labor Day, but with no resolve or boundaries I just can’t get over it."