The woman agreed at first but changed her mind and threatened to end the marriage if she was not allowed to wear a white wedding dress.
Marriages might be between two people but they also involve families. A lot of sacrifices and adjustments are required. The push and pulls of such requirements sometimes leave both the wife and husband-to-be exhausted. It can even end marriages. One Redditor recalled being in such a dilemma just before his marriage. The 32-year-old man's mother and his fiance had a major point of contention that involved the latter's wedding dress and the fact that she wasn't a "virgin". He wrote: I come from a very religious household with strong Cristian (sic) beliefs and one of the traditions in my family is if the woman getting married isn’t still a virgin they shouldn’t wear a white dress on their wedding day. But while such details are usually privy only to the two people getting hitched, in this case, the boy's family knew the woman's secret.
A white wedding dress has come to symbolize purity and virginity in Christain weddings. While it is not clear how this came to be but the symbolism has been relaxed, over the years. The man continued: My family knows my soon to be wife wasn’t a virgin when I met her because my mom asked me when I started dating her if she was pure, and I was honest and told her she had boyfriends before she met me. The guy's family put their foot down and did not budge because they felt the girl was not "pure" anymore. And while the bride agreed to wear a non-white dress at first, she later changed her mind and threatened to end the marriage if she was not able to wear a white dress. This left the man in a sticky situation. The man did eventually marry the woman but what happened at his wedding, he did not say.
He wrote: My wife was really upset when I asked her if she could wear a colored dress on our wedding day but she agreed, so we’re looking at getting glittery blue dress instead. Now she’s saying she won’t marry me because she’s too humiliated by the whole situation, but I really don’t see how it’s a big deal. AITA? A lot of commentators were upset that the question of the woman's virginity was even an issue at the wedding. A Redditor named NiceButton7 wrote: I know I'd want to marry a 30 something year old man who still had his umbilical cord, who also insisted on using my dress to s*utshame me on my wedding day. Another account, insomniac29, commented in the same vein: Wtf, this is crazy. I know a few conservative Christians who saved themselves for marriage and wanted to wear a white dress on their wedding days.
The person added: They actually had difficulty finding one because 99 percent of wedding dresses these days are ivory. So if your fiancee wears a normal wedding dress she is not pretending to be a virgin! Making her parade down the aisle in something so ridiculous it's like you're trying to pin a giant scarlet letter on her. I think if you have such a poor opinion of her and want to cause her public embarrassment you should do her a favor and break up now. YTA. Others tried to school the man about the tradition being archaic. Redditor INTJedi wrote a white wedding dress is "not a Christian tradition, nor is it a modern tradition." The person added: There is no "Christian color" for virginity in marriage or anything else. Biblically, unmarried/virgin women wore multi-colored robes (read the story of how Tamar ribbed hers to shreds after being raped)
The Redditor stated further: Until the early 20th century, blue was the "traditional" color of purity, and weddings were generally held with people wearing whatever their best clothes were. White became en-vogue because of Queen Victoria's white gown. If you want to herald your fiance's sexual history, should we assume you're wearing a white tuxedo to prove your own "purity"?